Why don’t giants walk on land?

Oh my knees! Ahhhhhhheeeeeeeeegoooooooo! There is something that links every person in the world - aches and pains. Not in your teeth - that’s totally different and caused by eating sugars and sweets that rot your teeth (you’ve been warned!). These aches and pains come in your knees and back as you age. You know what I’m talking about. Granny and Grandpa stand up and yell, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeegooooooo”, or (in England), “Oooooooooohdearrrrryyyyyyme”. Why do they do such odd things? You probably don’t feel like that. Well, as you know, cells become worse as they reproduce. The DNA gets damaged. One of the reasons that this happens is because of our environment and the physics that controls our environment.

You need to lose gravity ….I mean weight!

People always ask, “how much do you weigh?” What they should be asking is, “How much gravity have you got?” It’s the same question. Your weight is the amount of force that gravity is pulling on you. Gravity pulls all mass and you’re made of mass. Mass is a name for all of the atoms that make something. So, the mass of an elephant is all of the atoms that make that elephant. It’s weight is how much gravity is pulling that mass toward the centre of the world. The Earth’s gravity is created (kind of), by the hard iron at the centre of the Earth. That has the highest mass so it attracts objects with lower mass. All objects do that, so, your dad is actually pulling you toward his mass. Can you imagine orbiting your dad?

Gravity kills!

If you throw a unicorn out of a window….wait...no...it would survive. If you threw anything else out of a window without wings, it would probably crash to the ground and…….die! Why would this occur? Gravity. Gravity keeps your feet on the Earth, but it also makes you crash to the ground. The problem is, gravity never sleeps. It is pulling you down for your entire life. Humans have to fight to stand up and over time, your bones and joints and muscles lose. They get damaged from constantly pushing back against gravity. If you’re overweight, this happens faster, because you’re trying to push more mass away from gravity. So, the only giants on Earth are in the oceans because in the ocean, they have a very special friend pushing them up - water! Buoyancy is when water pushes mass up out of the water and against gravity. On land, nothing like that exists, which means that a giant, huge, massive giant would crumble against gravity, no matter how big they were. Instead of granny, you’d hear giants around the world rumbling, “AAHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY GIANT BONES ARE BREAKING! IF ONLY I WERE A WHALE!”